This is a long one, so pull up a chair and get comfortable.
Real World:
- Jason has to work this weekend and I can't get hold of my mother, which means that me and Matt are stuck doing absolutely nothing this weekend. And you know what? That sucks! I'm not brave enough to head to the River Street fireworks by myself. The crowds are going to be crazy and I can just see Matt running off and getting lost. I'm getting an anxiety attack just thinking about it. I'd love to go to the Tybee fireworks tonight, but the drive back off of the island every year is mad crazy, averaging about three hours. I'm not even going to sit in traffic with him for that long. I think I read somewhere about a small fireworks festival in Springfield tomorrow night. It's a small town and not too far away and I'm seriously thinking about taking Matt to that one. It just really sucks that Jason won't be there with us. I'll miss you luv!
- You know what's really good? When you're eating some Ranch Doritos and you chomp into one with a bunch of seasoning on it. Man, it's like an orgasm on on fried cornmeal. Yum-eee.
- To make up for not being with us on the Fourth of July, Jason's taking me and Matt to Fort Jackson on Monday and Fort Pulaski on Tuesday. I've been to Fort Pulaski before, but never Fort Jackson. I'm really looking forward to spending those two days with my two favorite men in the whole wide world. :)
- Wanna know what else is good? That ice cream topping that has the broken-up Heath candy pieces in it. Man...yet another food orgasm. 
- Who was the person who submitted Dizzy Girl to Underblogger 2004? Whoever you are, you are the coolest! I had never heard of the site before today, when I came across it while was checking my stats. Here's a snippet about Underbloggers:
Do you know of (or run) a quality blog that deserves a bit of extra attention? What blog/s do you read that you wish others knew about? The reason for this series was that whilst there are plenty of blog awards that identify the most popular bloggers, best designed blogs, best photobloggers etc. - unfortunately only a few select blogs tend to win these competitions whilst thousands of excellent blogs go unnoticed and uncelebrated. 'Celebrating the Underblogger' seeks to identify and promote these bloggers - the Underbloggers.
Well dang. I feel really loved right now. Thank you secret submitter. *blows kisses*
- Want to know why this post wasn't up earlier? Because I was so busy working on site skins that I forgot. *hides face in shame* I have one up now and you can take a look if you like. It's not absolutely how I want it, but I'm going to tweek it over the weekend and get it up to snuff. I've had that graphic for over a year now, just waiting to use it. Hope you like. :)
To go back to the default skin, click here.
---------------------------------
Fourth of July Recipes:
- Planning on having a holiday picnic? Try one of the following recipes. I'm also providing a link to an awesome flag cake. More recipes on Sunday!
Apple Pie Bars
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup butter, chilled
1 egg yolk
2/3 cup milk
1 cup crushed cornflakes cereal
8 cups thinly sliced apples
1 cup white sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 egg white
2 tablespoons white sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 cup confectioners' sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons milk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
In a medium bowl, stir together the flour and salt. Cut in the 1 cup butter until mixture is mealy. With a fork, stir in the 2/3 cup milk and egg yolk. Divide dough into 2 equal parts. On a lightly floured surface, roll out 1 piece of dough into a large rectangle. Place on the bottom of a 9x13 inch baking pan.
Sprinkle cereal over the crust, then layer the apples over the cereal. Stir together the 1 cup of white sugar, and the 1and 1/2 teaspoons of cinnamon and nutmeg; sprinkle over the apple layer. Roll out the other half of the dough and cover everything in the pan. Brush top crust with the reserved egg white and sprinkle with a mixture of 2 tablespoons sugar, and 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon.
Bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour in the preheated oven. Top crust should be lightly browned. Mix together the 1 cup of confectioners' sugar, 1 and 1/2 tablespoons of milk, and 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla until smooth; drizzle over bars while they are still warm. Yields 3 dozen.
Grilled Chicken Salad w/Seasonal Fruit
1 pound skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
1/2 cup pecans
1/3 cup red wine vinegar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 cup vegetable oil
1/2 onion, minced
1 teaspoon ground mustard
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground white pepper
2 heads Bibb lettuce - rinsed, dried and torn
1 cup sliced fresh strawberries
Preheat the grill for high heat.
Lightly oil the grill grate. Grill chicken 8 minutes on each side, or until juices run clear. Remove from heat, cool, and slice.
Meanwhile, place pecans in a dry skillet over medium-high heat. Cook pecans until fragrant, stirring frequently, about 8 minutes. Remove from heat, and set aside.
In a blender, combine the red wine vinegar, sugar, vegetable oil, onion, mustard, salt, and pepper. Process until smooth.
Arrange lettuce on serving plates. Top with grilled chicken slices, strawberries, and pecans. Drizzle with the dressing to serve. Yields 6 servings.
Fried Green Tomatoes
5 tomatoes, sliced
1 cup cornmeal
1/2 cup vegetable oil
salt and pepper to taste
Wash and dry each tomato slice. Sprinkle cornmeal on a piece of wax paper or a large flat surface. Dip each tomato slice into the cornmeal and pat gently until cornmeal covers the surface; turn slice over and coat the other side.
Heat the oil in a large frying pan over medium heat. Add tomato slices, and fry for 2 to 3 minutes on each side, until golden brown. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Serve hot. Yields 4 servings.
Lemon Ice-Box Cake
1 (18.25 ounce) package lemon cake mix
2 (14 ounce) cans sweetened condensed milk
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
1 (12 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed
Bake the cake in 2 layers as directed on package. When cool, slice each layer in half horizontally, making 4 layers. In a medium bowl, combine the 2 cans of sweetened condensed milk with the fresh lemon juice. Reserve half of the mixture and set aside.
2 Use half of lemon milk mixture to put between layers. With the reserved mixture, gently fold in the whipped topping, and use to frost the entire cake. Chill overnight before serving. Yields 12 servings.
---------------------------------
Memes:
- As you can see, I'm not taking part in this weeks Friday Five damnit. I'm just not digging the questions anymore. Nothing personal against the site owner of course, but the questions as of late really suck. I had planned on unveiling my own little weekly meme today, but alas...work kept me from it. It'll be up next Friday though! Since I can't just swipe the name Friday Five (or can I?), I'm asking for name suggestions. And Jen...mention the one I used to have and I'll have to hurt you. No seriously.
List the things you wish had never been invented:
Okay, I'll try.
: Cellphones. I'm so sick of people talking on them in restaurant bathrooms, while driving down the road, in line at the k, walking down the street (you got a phone but no car???), while they're waiting on me, etc. People just get plain rude when they stick one to their ear and I'm sick of it damnit.
:Okay, so maybe it wasn't invented, but whatever...AOL. It's evil, evil, evil. It's also expensive, expensive, expensive. Bill Gates freaks me out and I'm sick of getting those stupid discs in the mail. I get one at LEAST once every other week. One more and I might just go off on someone.
: Those little plastic twisty things they put on the back of toys to keep you from stealing them. I spend at least five hours Christmas mornings untying those little bastards so Matt can play with the toys. Evil plastic twisty thingies!
: Those fake dog leashes that make it look like you're walking an invisible dog. Seriously people, it's not funny. It's creepy and stupid.
1. If you found out that you had an advanced stage of an illness (say something like cancer) and only had a few months to live, what would be your first thought?
Lord, that's depressing. I've actually been thinking about my health a lot lately and this thought has crossed my mind. My first thought is that of my husd and son and how it will affect them. Okay, I can't even think about this right now.
2. If you had three days to do anything at all you wanted to do what would you do?
Visit my sister and brother in West Virginia and my other sister in North Carolina . I miss home! :(
3. What do you think of assisted suicide? Is it humane? Should doctors/people who assist people in killing themselves be charged with murder?
I think it's very wrong. It's murder in my eyes. I don't believe that we should play God with people. If they choose to take their own lives, then let them. But it's not our job to help them.
---------------------------------
Getting a Girl to Fall For You:
I keep getting hits from search engines for "getting a girl to fall for you". I'm not really sure who the poor soul is who had to go on the net to bag a chick, but Gennie's here to help you out. Please take notes guys, what you're about to read is essential if you want to a girl to fall for you.
: Compliment her a lot. Women are self-conscious creatures by nature and like to know that men find them attractive.
: Show an interest in her interests, even if it's something you find incredibly boring.
: Don't be afraid to have an intelligent conversation. Most women are looking for a man who can hold one for more than five minutes at a time.
: Never, ever, EVER talk trash about her political affiliation, etc. She'll lose all respect for you and you'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting her. Talking politics later on down the road is fine, but don't insult her or her party from the get-go.
: Expensive gifts and flowers aren't necessary, but they are nice. Sometimes, a nice little "I'm thinking of you" letter is enough.
: Keep up your appearance. Women don't like stinky, scraggly-looking men. And don't pour the cologne on men! A little dab here and there is more than enough to wet our curiosity and make us want to lean in for a closer smell.
Now that you've won that girl, here's some tips on how to keep her:
: Girls don't like it when you go to strip clubs with your "boys"...so don't. There's something about another woman rubbing her cooch all over our men that makes us get a tad jealous. If you really want that, ask your girl. That's what she's there for!
: The ex's have to go. There's nothing wrong with remaining on good terms with ex-girlfriends, but please do not insist on calling them and going over to their apartment to help them move furniture or what have you.
: Never compare your girl to other women, especially ex-girlfriends. Newsflash fellas, your girl is not your ex! They do not look the same, act the same, smell the same, wear the same clothes, watch the same shows, and they certainly don't do the same things in bed. Compare and die.
: Respect, respect, respect. If you ain't got it, hit the door. If you've got a decent girl, despite her hotness level, you'd better respect her. Why? Because somewhere down the road you're going to wish you had stayed with that nice girl that you dumped for that hot girl who dumped you for that hotter guy. Nice girls...got one? Keep her!
: And last, but not least, if you love her...tell her. We're not psychic guys. We don't know these things and we DO need to hear them more than once a year on Valentine's Day.
---------------------------------
Entertain Me:
- Lemur Girl was voted off of Blogtiki in the latest Survivor Blogosphere. That leaves two players: Jimmie and Lynn. I already kinda have an idea who I'm going to vote for, but I'm holding out until the very end for my decision. Once again you two, now's the time to impress me. There's a lot of cool gifts at stake for the winner. Good luck you two!
- A "friend", who knows that I think Ron Weasley/Rupert Grint is adorable, sent me these HP avatars and you know what...I think they're cute! I know Jen's probably falling over herself with either laughter or sickness, but I don't care damnit. Ron is the cutest and a pox on any of you who dare speak against him on this blog! That's right damnit...a pox. I'd love to know who made them. Anyone know?
- Are you a book lover? Well, how about joining Lori's "Downtown Book Club"? We've voted and the next book up is Nabokov's classic, Lolita. I had started this book a while back, but only got so far into the first chapter and never really got around to finishing it. I've seen the movie (which I love) and am looking forward to seeing if it does the book any justice. If you're interested in being a part of the book club, go to the library and check out the book and start reading. There are reading requirements/scedules, which you can find by clicking here.
- A movie legend, Marlon Brando, has passed away. This is really sad, though not very unexpected. I think everyone knew that he was in bad health, but it's still sad nonetheless. My favorite Brando movie: "A Streetcare named Desire" with Vivien Leigh. I remember watching it for the first time when I was a kid and thinking "Man, that guy is so cool...and breathtaking!" You'll be missed. :(
---------------------------------
Politics and Duhmocratic Underground:
- DU doesn't like the fact that MooreWatch is encouraging people to download "that movie" and is looking to intentionally crash the site. Moore has already said that he doesn't care, so what's the fucking problem? Get over it you morons.
- Bill Cosby had some more very harsh words for the black community and I couldn't agree with him more. But instead of just focusing on the black community, how about the younger generation as a whole? White, black, latino, whatever. I have very little tolerance or patience for today's youth. Most of them are just a bunch of little unemployed punks living off their parents and having a load babies that we have to pay for. Get a fucking job you stupid slackers and stop sponging off the taxpayers. Stay in school and get an education. This is the real world and you won't get anywhere not knowing how to read or write. A sixth grade education will only get you so far these days. Kudos to Bill Cosby. Someone had to say it damnit. (Seems like the folks over at DU don't agree with Bill. How dare he tell these young hoodlums to grow up and be responsible! Then of course, most of them...nah...I'm not even going to say it.
- Those fine patriots over at Democratic Underground are looking forward to the next Civil War. In fact, they've already made plans for the Portland riots. There you go people, the voice of the left. And they call Conservatives nazis and anti-Americans. Ha!
- I've said it before and I'll say it again: John Kerry NEEDS to resign from the Senate. Since he began campaigning for President, he's missed 87% of the roll call and is doing his constituents a huge misservice in the process. Need another reason for him to resign? Well, how about this one courtesy of Patriot Petitions:
John Kerry has a long and well-documented history of providing "aid and comfort" to the enemy in time of war -- particularly in the case of North Vietnam. Kerry. By his own account, Kerry violated the UCMJ, the Geneva Conventions and the U.S. Code while serving as a Navy officer, and he further stands in violation of Article three, Section three of the U.S. Constitution which defines treason as "giving aid and comfort" to the enemy in time of warfare.Thus, in accordance with the Constitution's Fourteenth Amendment, Section
3, which states, "No person shall be a Senator or Representative in
Congress, or elector of President and Vice-President ... having previously
taken an oath ... to support the Constitution of the United States, [who
has] engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or
comfort to the enemies thereof," We, the People of the United States,
demand that Kerry resign his seat in the Senate.Please join fellow Patriots and sign the petition demanding John Kerry's
resignation. Link to --
http://PatriotPetitions.US/Kerry
- Revoke PETA's tax-exempt status.
- Register to vote today! Already registered? Then encourage others. Or better yet, set a goal and register five people. This is a right people, let's not throw it away!
---------------------------------
Top 5 Blog Posts of the Week:
5: Drowning at 2 Feet Sea Level: It Irriated Me
4: Dog Snot Diaries: Moonbats Lap Up Moore's Propoganda
3: Para-Bellum: An Open Letter From A Marine
2: Wizg: Blue Chip Celebrity Stock Forecasts (Britney/Christina=
)
1: Gut Rumbles: Becoming Popular
So I was checking off my little list as I read Rob's post and now I'm wondering: WTF? Why am I not popular? I mean, I know my writing style's a little weird and all, but is it that bad? Do I really sucketh that mucheth? I post a lot and I certainly don't shy away from controversy...so wtf people?
Also, Rob...what's a girl got to do to get a link? Shite! ;)
*Special Mention*
Allah totally cracks my shit up with his Photoshop treasures. Oh to be one of those special few listed under " SATANS WHO MAKE ALLAH FEEL A LITTLE FUNNY IN THE PANTS"...*deep sigh.
---------------------------------
Friday Music :
In honor of the birth of our lovely nation, here's some patriotic tunes. And as promised, I've also added a non-patriotic, but equally entertaining, Chris Issak song for those who've waited patiently all week for it.
You know the rules:
- DO NOT STREAM!
- Right Click/Save Target As.
- Files will stay up for 24 hours and then they're gone forever.
- If you like the music, purchase the cds! Keep the music flowing people.
- A bloody "thank you" would be nice.
Right. Learn it. Know it. Live it.
Celine Dion - God Bless America / Purchase
Johnny Cash - Ragged Old Flag / Purchase
Merle Haggard - The Fighting Side of Me / Purchase
Chris Isaak - Wicked Games / Purchase
---------------------------------
Et Finalement:
Alrighty folks. I hope you all have a wonderful Saturday. Look for a Fourth of July post on Sunday, complete with recipes and other good ole American stuff! *salutes*
xoxo